Another Month in the House by Gina Roen

(A parody based on Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust”)

Chorus
Another month in the house—-
Another month in the house—-
And another one’s gone, another one’s gone!
Another month in the house.
Hey! What’ll get you through another month in the house?

I look warily down the street with my mask pulled way down low
My shades are drawn as I look about, where did all the neighbors go?
Are you ready, are you ready for this?
Are you ready to get on your feet?
The people you know are all inside.
Is there anything to do but eat?

Chorus

How do you think you’ll get along with another month on the couch?
Glued to your Visa for Amazon Prime, too many chips, so your jeans say “ouch”!
Are you ready? Are you satisfied? How long can you stay apart?
Another trip to Costco for Lysol wipes, another call to Instacart!

Chorus and guitar solo

You’re running out of ways to kill the time: Zoom meetings and Facebook friends.
Thank goodness for Netflix, my dog and remote, cat videos that never end!
Are you ready for a new hair-do, getting out of your sweats and stuff?
This virus thing will end someday when the Governor says “Enough!”

Another month in the house. Another month in the house.
Got my PJ’s on and my slippers, too.
Another month in the house.
Got my comfort food and my coffee too.
Another month in the house.
Another month in the house…

I’ve Heard Enough by Bob Johnson

My grandparents were married for sixty-five years. They loved and respected each other and I don’t think I ever heard them argue to any extent. The two would have, what I would call “spirited discussions” about situations, from which almost all decisions made were mutually agreed upon.

My grandpa loved to sing. He was a natural tenor and looked forward to any chance to harmonize. He was a self-taught violinist, a writer of poetry, a numismatist, a painter, and a great storyteller. I still have one of his paintings, Land of the Midnight Sun, hanging in my home. My grandma played the piano and also enjoyed singing. She had what could be likened to a screech owl voice, but sang out loud and long.

They lived a lifetime of hard work, had beautiful gardens, and a loving home.

Late in life Grandpa’s hearing started to fail.  Perhaps that malady was a blessing in disguise. You see, my grandma was a non-stop talker. She loved to gossip, brought home stories from the Ladies Aid meetings, and spent many hours watching through the front room window at the traffic and the neighbors. It was obvious my Grandpa couldn’t, or chose not to, hear what was being said. The louder she talked the louder the volume on the television.  Grandpa loved his television shows.

The decision was made, probably by Grandma, that a hearing aid was necessary and should be purchased. I saw them shortly thereafter, and the television wasn’t blaring, but Grandma was. Grandpa really didn’t participate in the one-sided conversation but was listening, I think. Three weeks later as I was picking up Grandma for her church choir practice, I heard a loud commotion in the house. Grandpa had the Friday Night Fights going, a sport he loved to watch, and the sound was at a very high level. He was on the edge of his rocker, swinging a left or a right, to help his fighter on.

Grandma explained he had lost his hearing aids. They looked high and low but to no avail. A new set had to be ordered, and for now she had to battle that infernal television noise to be heard. I smiled.

 It couldn’t have been more than six months later that I got a call from Grandma asking me to come to the house to help search for a lost second set of aids. I did, but to no avail. My grandparents decided they had put enough money toward that project, and would just make the best of the situation.

Several months went by before I was able to get over to their house. I was in need of a caliper for a project I was working on. My grandpa, who had a meticulously neat shop in the garage, told me exactly which drawer, and which side of the drawer it would be. I found the tool, started to close the drawer, when I noted, far in the back corner, a little cardboard box with two neatly placed sets of hearing aids. I never breathed a word of my discovery. Their married life continued for ten more years. Happily, at least, for one of them.

On the Ropes by Bob Johnson

I’d like to explain things to you if I could, but I don’t think I can. I’m sitting in the blue corner of a 20 x 20 boxing ring. My cut man “Mouse” Wilson is rubbing Vaseline over my beat up face, my corner manager Chug Anastacia is hollering at me to keep moving and start throwing my left right cross as some buxom red head chick is strutting in front of me with a round announcement. The Sunnyside Garden Arena in Queens is about three quarters full and the smoke in the air is so thick I can’t even see the banners hanging from the rafters. I thought I had died in the last round, visited with a guy sporting a Jersey accent I swear was Saint Peter standing at the gates of Heaven, and now am about to commit the unthinkable sin for a fighter. I’m supposed to take a dive. Shaking my head to clear the cobwebs wasn’t making things any clearer. They say your life will pass before your eyes when you die, but I gotta tell you, my life needs a lot of explaining before I go. Let me start at the beginning.

My name is Michael T. Murphy. I don’t know what the T stands for if anything. My folks said that was all there was to it, a T! I started using the middle initial in my name for a good reason. The Irish population of Belle Harbor and Breezy Point in Queens sported hundreds of good Irish Catholic names, and I carried one of the most common of them. Mickey Murphy, Little Mike Murphy, Big Mike Murphy, and Michael “Spud” Murphy were just a few monikers that separated our persons. I was, as far as I knew, the only Michael T. Murphy.

My Ma and Pa came over from Ireland at the turn of the century looking for a better life. The same boat brought an extended family of both of them so there was a lot of Irish to look after each other. They all settled near each other in Queens and set about, like thousands of other immigrants, to find jobs to support the families. Pa was a carpenter, a good one, and gained favor with some of the borough bosses. In exchange for a remodel of one of the bigshots homes, he was provided with constant work in his trade. There were other families that didn’t fare so well. The unlucky and the unskilled suffered greatly.

I was born on Saint Patrick’s Day in 1920. It was cause for great celebration and was looked upon as a good omen. Why I wasn’t named Patrick T. Murphy I will never know. I was the first of what would be a typical family. When they were all done my folks had reared seven kids. There were three other boys and three girls. They all had middle names.

My early years were interrupted by constant packing and moving. We lived in several apartments. It seemed that after each baby was born the search for a bigger place was on. It was tough to make friends in the neighborhood then turn around and move away. The good part of all this was I continued to increase the circle kids that I knew. They were all Irish, of course, except for a few Dagos, Black Dagos and Kikes that had settled nearby. The kids were always accepted but I never saw their folks at the Irish get-togethers on the block. I spent a lot of time out in the streets playing whatever games we could play for free. There was a constant game of stickball going on. Sometimes the bigger kids and men would come out and compete. They often fought over some infraction. We yelled, laughed, and whispered. The world, in our exuberance and youth, was wide open to us.

Schooling was something I didn’t like, didn’t do well at, and didn’t do it. I was part of a bunch who worked at truancy. Elaborate planning was involved. Roll calls may have called off but for a few nickels could get someone to holler “here” at the proper time. We were then free to roam the borough looking for something exciting to occupy our day. I think my left ear is larger than my right as it was stretched to tearing by my mother guiding me not so gently back to the schoolhouse. If we were spotted by any of our mothers the word spread quickly and we’d try to leg it, but no hiding place was good enough to escape the wrath of a fire breathing Irish mother. I’m sure she wanted what she thought was best for me, an education, but learning arithmetic, history, and writing skills wasn’t a necessary part of my needs.

I never fancied myself as a ladies man like some of my pals, and thought chasing those skirts was just a waste of time. I would sometimes invite a girl to have a soda at Kilkennys when I had some extra money, or take one to a street fair or church bazaar. I wasn’t the prettiest face in town, I knew it, and accepted the fact I didn’t warrant a second glance from the opposite sex.

One day Lully O’Halloran, a tall buxom Irish lass must have got it in her mind that I would be a fine companion for the day. My buddies warned me that she had a slightly tarnished reputation and to watch out. The fact that Lully promised to cover the admission to the Bijoux and treats, was a good enough reason to take her up on the invitation. The treats, however, weren’t a soda and popcorn. I spent most of the time in the theatre balcony pushing her hands away from my crotch and pulling my hands away from those big bazoombas. She decided I needed kissing and it felt like her tongue was working my tonsils like a gym punching bag. I finally told her to quit that bologna and leave me alone. She got those Irish eyes blazing, stood up and hollered loud enough for the entire seated audience to clearly hear her.

“Well, I never!” she yelled, and walked out.

“I doubt that,” I countered.

I saw Lully in the community a few times after that, but she couldn’t turn away fast enough when she spotted me. So much for her chance to get lucky

I got a part time job as a swabby and stocker at a local Irish pub. The Lucky Leprechaun was the place where a different type of education was experienced. I worked after school hours until early evening doing whatever the owner, Paddy O’Donnell needed me to do. I offered to come in earlier but Paddy told me that the work would not interfere with my schooling and that was enough of that talk. I made some jingle and was able to bring home a few dollars to help with the household. Paddy would occasionally send me packing with a bucket of beer for “me old man” so he could enjoy it at the end of the day. Those were the days that all my pals were really my pals. I had to concoct some story of spillage by the time I made the apartment and stayed far away from ma so she couldn’t smell by breath. Splashing a little of the golden ale on my tunic would negate her suspicions, usually.

I ran errands for the bar, picking up corned beef, local bread, mustards, eggs, new bar linen, and the popular hangover remedy concoction from Kilkenny’s drug store. I don’t know what was in that dark brown corked bottle but a quick nip of the stuff sent me higher than a kite. I didn’t like that feeling.

I was called upon to run messages to workplaces, stores, and homes by the patrons. I became part of the Irish community and immersed myself in the ways of life.

“Hey, Michael T. Murphy, would ya be so kind as to run up the street and tell the missus I be along shortly, now would ya.”

“Boy, run this dollar down to the shoe shine and tell him Irish Red in the seventh to win.”

“Now Michael T. Murphy, I need some laundry picked up at Hop Sings. You’ll be making a dime for your fine effort, and another dime if you can be back in 20 minutes.”

Not Mike, or Michael, or Mickey, or Murphy, but Michael T. Murphy. I guess that was the way it would always be. I was wrong. That changed in a completely unexpected way.

Bar fights and getting fluthered was also part of the life. That’s what started a whole new chapter in my life. I continued to work part time for Paddy until I turned sixteen. My folks finally accepted the fact that formal education was not in the books, so to speak, for me.

I excitedly asked Paddy if he would hire me on as a pub tender. He said he would be delighted to have me. His gout had gotten so bad that he often sat at a back bar corner and let others pour their own. He taught me the proper way to draw an ale from the spigot, how to mix a fancy Irish whiskey drink, and how to know when to leave the customer alone with whatever was going on. He showed me the shillelagh underneath the bar and explained that just having a fierce look and that weapon in hand would quell many of the arguments and misunderstandings that happened almost daily. That didn’t always work.

Pay days, Saturday nights, and Irish holidays kept the Lucky Leprechaun hopping and in the black. Paddy would bring in an Irish band so husbands and wives could kick up their heels. People had extra money to spend and that is what they did. On alcohol.

The Irish neighborhoods, as well as any of the other corners of the city had toughs, gangs, and wannabe mobsters. They were always intimidating, stealing, beating people for no good reason, and busting into unoccupied homes to score some kind of treasure. They leader of this group was Patrick McGee. He liked to be called Tiger by his gang. Tiger was big, loud, and without a conscience. It was said that he bludgeoned a fellow to death in front of witnesses, but put the fear of God in them if they testified. I always thought that was probably a rumor he himself started. He got away with everything. Well almost.

He and a few of his pals came in to the Lucky Leprechaun late one evening just as the Saturday night crowd was getting a quite happy and boisterous. They pushed their way through the crowd to the bar and turned to survey the crowd. Paddy was busy at the other end making sandwiches and talking with some regulars. Tiger, I think, thought he demanded immediate service and started barking at Paddy for service.

“Get your fat arse over here old man and pull me and my friends some black.” Tiger yelled.

“Hold up just a bit fellows and I’ll be right with you.” Paddy said. “We’re pretty busy tonight.”

“You get over here now or I’ll come over and drag your carcass across the bar and start pouring our drinks myself”, Tiger blustered.

Paddy turned around, stared at Tiger and grabbed his shillelagh in one quick movement. He stood there slapping the end of that ironwood mallet into the other hand.

“Why don’t you and your bunch just go on your way? We don’t want any trouble and you seem to be wanting to send us in that direction”, Paddy said quietly.

“Well why don’t you eff off you old bog jumping mick!” Tiger said as he grabbed Paddy by his vest and dragged him over the bar.

The action too fast for old Paddy could react. All he could do is watch as Tiger’s big fist crashed into his face. Paddy went down in slow motion as Tiger and his buddy cheered and jeered.

Now I’m not a big fellow, a couple inches shorter than six foot. I weighed in at about 145 pounds soaking wet, and never considered myself a fighter. I had spent a little time over at Fat’s Gym, but only to watch a pal from the old neighborhood do some training. I got a chance to hit the speed bag a little and pump a few shots into the heavy bag, but not much else.

I had just come around the corner from the back room as Paddy was taking the brunt of Tigers blast. I don’t know what happened but I suddenly saw red. The next few minutes were a blur but I remember going in a rage against the gang boss and giving him whatever I had in my fight arsenal. When it was over, Tiger lay beneath me showing a bloody, bashed face, while other patrons were trying to stop my onslaught. The gang, without the bluster, hightailed it out of the Leprechaun enduring hurled insults from the crowd. A few fellows picked an unconscious Tiger up and deposited him in the alley trash bin then came back for some good fun. I got my bearings about me and looked for Paddy. He was standing behind the bar downing a good pint of Guinness. He had a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes.

“Well Michael T. Murphy, I think I’ve just found a new name for you, he said.”

“Hey everyone, “Paddy announced,” I want you to meet me new bouncer. His name is The Mauler.”

“And,” he continued, “Drinks are on the house.”

Michael T. Murphy was gone, the Mauler, apparently had replaced him.

The next couple of years went by with only a few tiffs and fights. I was known to take a good lick but noted for dishing them out faster and harder. There was always someone who thought they could take the Mauler. Most of those fellows were either drunk or put up to it by someone backing with bets. When I did fight, I found myself going beyond a time when a normal fighter would quit. I ended up buying a cold one for the loser and there was back slapping all around. At least they had tried to go up against me and there was a certain pride in that accomplishment. I wanted something else though.

The war was raging in Europe and in the Pacific so I wanted to do my part. Myself and my pal, Tommy Bohlen went straightaway to the recruiting office and signed on to be Marines. They were the toughest and that’s what we wanted. We packed up a suitcase, said our goodbyes to family and friends and hopped a bus to Buffalo for initial testing. The physical exam was routine until some sawbones told me that I had flat feet and couldn’t make the grade.

“You’ve got to be putting me on me fella.” I protested,” Those feet have gotten me anywhere I wanted to go.”

He stamped a big 4F on my papers and they sent me packing. I tell you it was hard to show my face around the neighborhood for quite a while. That rejection sent me into a long and bumpy road of drunkenness and fighting. That behavior came to a screeching halt when I got a friendly kick from Officer Tully Dolan, a man who sent my life in a completely different direction.

I had been pulled into the 105th precinct on 222nd St. in Queens Village. It was the usual beef, that of being drunk and disorderly, resisting arrest, and ignoring the commands of the arresting officer. I spent the usual twenty four hours in the clink, arranged the bail, and was in woeful shape as I was leaving the building. My face was pretty well beat up and I was in need of an ice cold brew.

“Hold up there Mr. Murphy,” a quiet voice said.

I looked around to find a bear of a man behind me. He carried a big belly held in place by his heavy police belting, spit polish shoes, an erect stature, a shiny badge and a huge handlebar mustache. What I noticed the most, however, was his steely blue eyes penetrating right into me.

“I understand they call you the Mauler. That’s quite a moniker for a hard hitting bar thug,” he continued. “Looks like that lifestyle isn’t working out very well for you, now is it? I tell you what I’m going to do for you. You show up at this gym on Saturday for a little workout, and I’ll see if the higher ups will let this last dust up go by. Got that boyo, gym or jail, your choice.” He handed me a card and walked off.

I picked up the card that read Title Boxing Club. It was on Austin Street in Queens. I knew it was the workout gym for the cops but was also supported by the Police Benevolent Fund. The decision was pretty easy to make as it was laid out in simple terms. Show them what I had or do some jail time.

Title was established thirty years before by the city fathers, a good safe place for kids to hang out and have good clean fun. That lasted about 2 years as the kids had other things to do with a little more excitement. The police department, with the help of the New York Boxing commission, refit the place with all the necessary tools of boxing and fitness. The hall itself was the bottom floor and basement of an old apartment building. The entrance was a simple door that just said Title. Walking in there to the smell of years of blood, sweat and tears, hangs in my memory bank. The main entry had posters and pictures of past boxers, and boxing matches, along with action shots of well-known past champions. Jersey Joe Wolcott was prominent as it was said he spent some time in the gym. I looked around for Dolan but instead met someone else.

“Hey kid, whaddya want!” a voice shouted from behind me. That was my first meeting with Chug Anastasia. “Get over here.” I walked toward the voice.

“Dolan sent you, right? Did you bring some sweats? There’s the locker room, get changed and get your hot shot butt out here,” Dolan barked. I complied.

The next two hours were pure excruciating pain. From the sound of Chug’s yelling, to the routine of calisthenics, rope skipping, and bag punching, to the weight lifting, I was exhausted.

“Understand you’re not doing a damned bit of work, so that means I’ll see you here tomorrow at 2:00. And bring your own goddamned soap and towel, we ain’t the welfare squad,” Chug said in a passing bite. “And, ya lazy bum, find some work, cause using this gym isn’t free.”

That night was the best I had slept in years, excluding the times I had passed out from imbibing.

Chug worked with me on and off for several weeks, always deflecting my question of when would I get to hit someone. His answer was always to the fact that it would happen when I was ready. He had a way of truly frustrating me.

I got a job as a hod carrier for an old Italian bricklayer named Luigi. He couldn’t speak English and I didn’t know a word of his language. There always seemed to be a grandchild of his around who did the translation, otherwise sign language and hollering in Italian was our mode of communication. He was quite a colorful character, lived in Little Italy and did beautiful work. During a lunch break I was doing a little shadow boxing and Luigi watched me with interest.

“You a no dance,” he said. “You a slow.” And he walked away.

I was starting to get into good form, probably the best of my life. I’m not a big man standing about 5’10”, my weight around 165 pounds, and not a particularly long reach. A long reach was considered an advantage for boxers as they could flick shots out of the way of retaliation. Most of my weight was carried in a barrel chest and torso. I would never have a chiseled body.

I did at one time spend a dime to get the Charles Atlas “Dynamic Tension” booklet. The information in the book was going to help me sculpt my body perfectly. It had the same success as I had with growing sea monkeys. I quit looking at the ads in the action comics after that.

I finally got my chance to get into the ring and spar with another boxer. I had headgear and regulation boxing gloves. This was my big chance to show my prowess. I lasted twenty minutes. Chug was constantly telling me to get up on my toes and move. I was battered and only got in a few shots.

“Kid, you’re moving in slow motion. It looks like you got some cement blocks for shoes. Move, move, bob and weave, for Christ’s sake,” was all I heard.

I got out of ring, knackered, and irritated.

“Chug, I’m not a Marine because they booted me for having flat feet and maybe that’s why I can’t do what you want of me,” I fired off. “But I can hit, you just wait and see!”

I was, by then, smitten by the boxing game. I never missed a radio account of a fight. I cheered for Sugar Ray Robinson as he finally put an end to Jake LaMotta, read accounts of a new boxer on the national scene, Rocky Marciano, and lamented the end of the career of Joe Wolcott. I followed a couple of our guys in the gym as they were undercards at an event. It was a grand sport.

My foot work improved, a little, to the point that Chug had given up on trying to get me to skip and hop. I had a strong right hand, left cross, and was working on the uppercut when Chug announced I was going in the ring the next Saturday. I was on the card representing the 105th against fighters from another precinct. I was matched up against another fellow country man in the middleweight division at 160 pounds.

I was jittery before the fight but warm and ready. Chug introduced me to my corner man Mickey “Mouse” Wilson. Chug had told me that Mouse was the best cut man around when he was on. I found out later that he had lost his left hand, and some of his marbles during the war. He had been a medic and knew his way around injuries, but sometimes drifted away from his focus. The crowd was small but was made up of several police including Dolan. The loud part of the crowd was half the Italians in the city. Two of their own were going to duke it and they had already made their bets and chosen sides. The venue was small and looked like it had been slapped together in just a few days. It wasn’t the grand palace but it worked.

I took the fight to my opponent looking for a quick knockout, but I got hit in the face and head a lot more times than I was dishing. Chug cautioned me to cover up, but I never did get that part down. The crowd started yelling louder. I heard “Knock him out, Mauler.” Must be some boys from the neighborhood. Pretty quick the chant, “Mauler, Mauler, and Mauler” could be heard. The fifth and final round was a good one for me. I finally landed a big right that threw my other guy on his heels. I came in for the kill and tossed every shot I had at him. The referee came between us and stopped the fight. I had won by a TKO.

“Mauler, huh?” Chug said in the locker room. “You’ve got a long way to go.”

I continued to pick up fights in the five boroughs. My record was decent, and a few promoters had a look see at me in the gym. The purses weren’t big but was enough for me to get by. I was announced at fights as Michael T. “The Mauler” Murphy, and had lot of folks following my events. I think they thought I might turn into an Irish champion. I was invited to dinner with bosses, families, and friends. I still went to the Lucky Leprechaun but kept my alcohol consumption to a minimum. Paddy had put a big banner over the bar that read, “Home of The Mauler.” My neighborhood was with me.

Three years of boxing had provided me with a reputation of being a knock out artist. The lack of foot speed was reported as of being vulnerable to head shots. I got hit a lot and my face showed it. My nose had been broken and flattened a couple times, a few ribs had been cracked, and I broke bones in my wrist and hand a few times. That was part of boxing, I understood, and I kept at it. I rose to the ranks from middleweight, to super middleweight, to light heavyweight. I was fighting the big boys who packed a wallop in their punch. Getting knocked down, getting back up, and doing the same to my opponent was part of the game. Chug had worked with me and I was finally ranked in my fight division. That was a sign of success.

I had been entirely too busy to develop any relationship with a gal, but ended up with some real doozies after a fight and rounds of drinks. It usually cost me part of my purse to say goodbye to them for the night.

I had gotten my bell rung several times and there was instances my vision was out of focus for quite some time after a match. I started getting headaches that lasted for longer than I wanted. Chug sent me a local sawbones. He looked into my eyes and ears. I donated some blood and piss too. He checked my reflexes, my privates, and my ass. What does this have to do with my eyes, I thought.

“You’ve taken a lot of hits to the head, Michael,” he announced.

“Jesus Christ on a crutch, Doc, tell me something I don’t know.” I said.

“Right now you are suffering from a concussion, your brain is swelling, and it is affecting your nervous system.” He followed. “You keep getting hit on your noggin, there is going to be a time one punch puts you down and you won’t get up, ever!” he said with a stern but solemn face. “I don’t think this is the first concussion you have had but it might be your last. You ought to consider a new line of work.”

I thanked the man and started a walk back to the gym. My mind spun with what he had said, not completely believing him, but not writing the whole episode off. What would I do if I wasn’t boxing? Go back to the neighborhood and tend bar? I know a few retired boxers that owned a drinking establishment. Sonny O’Day, quite a fighter in his day and kind of a mush brain now, with slow exaggerated steps and thoughts, had a place. He relived his glory days on a regular basis with whoever was willing to listen. I didn’t want that. I really don’t have any other skills, I thought. My mind was working overtime.

I walked around a corner and just about knocked over a ladder in the middle of the sidewalk. The top step was occupied by someone reaching for something, and teetering while trying to do it.

“Hey, you want me to steady the ladder for you?” I offered.

“That would be mighty thoughtful of you,” replied the female voice from above. “This damned window shade got curled in the wind last night so I need to right it before I can lower it.”

The woman fiddled a little more and started down the ladder.

“You’re going to have to move a little, sir, so I can get down.” She said with a smile.

I was scarlet for staring and for not moving out of the way. I apologized.

“Let me take down this ladder and put it away for you, I mean if that’s alright.” I stammered.

“You certainly may, and I’ll even treat you for your effort,” the lady said evenly. She extended her hand.

“My name is Prudence Armstrong, but everyone calls me Prudy,” and to whom do I have the pleasure to be speaking with.” She said.

I took off my hat and offered my hand, completely covering her tiny hand. I told her my name. She wanted to know if I worked in the area. I told her I was a boxer and was headed to the Title. She gave me a cupcake with chocolate frosting and I sat down.

“So you’re one of those big palookas that thrash each other to oblivion, is that it?” she asked.

“I guess so,” was all I could say.

Prudence was the owner and operator of Cupcake Delights. We talked about the business, the street traffic, people we may know in common, maintenance problems, and life in general. It was the longest conversation I had ever had with a woman. She was delightful and intelligent and open. Something I wasn’t used to. I glanced at the wall clock and saw I was late for my workout and knew Chug would be chomping at the bit. I offered, before I left, to fix the problems she was experiencing in the store, and she accepted my proposal.

The next couple of months were filled with enjoyable time at Prudy’s and the not so enjoyable time of trying to maintain my record and ranking. Boxing seemed to be more work than fun. I didn’t know why. Prudy even got me in the back of the store mixing up flour and eggs and everything else so she could make her little cakes. She even named one of her concoctions the Mmm cupcake. She said it was called that because of my initials. It tasted alright, too. She was quite a gal.

One terribly cold and windy New York winter day, I was leaving the store to purchase some butter for Prudy. I had a good warm feeling inside and carried the effects of a lovely kiss. Suddenly there were two fellows standing in front of me.

“Hi, Mr. Mauler, remember me,” came a low raspy whisper. “It’s your old friend Tiger.”

I looked up to see a slightly older and much heavier Patrick McGee.

“I’m here to offer you an invitation to see my boss about an important business arrangement. He would like to see you immediately, if that is not too much of an inconvenience,” Tiger offered.

I looked over his shoulder to a massive man that towered over both of us. He had a flat face, close set eyes, and the look of a character of a minus IQ. I had no doubt that my punch would not have any effect on him. He smiled at me. He had an even row of baby teeth. That IQ just dropped even more.

“Victor Masconi has asked that we bring you for a meet, now,” Tiger said with more force.

“You working for the greasy mob now, huh, Patrick?” I asked with a smirk. “The Irish wouldn’t have nothing to do with you after our dustup? Well, what if I was to say no?” I suggested.

“Then I guess I would have to ask Vinnie, here, to help you change your mind, and this little friend I’m carrying might help you see your way to take a ride,” Tiger said evenly.

He opened his coat to display a revolver holstered under his left breast pocket.

I had no idea what all of this big display was about, but I wasn’t going to push the situation. We all climbed into a big Lincoln Cosmopolitan and pulled into traffic. No one spoke during the entire ride and we pulled in front of Malisani’si Restaurant. Seated at the back of a completely empty establishment sat Victor Masconi. He was associated with mobster activity in the area. He ran pull tabs, numbers, sports betting, the loan shark business, prostitution, and costly insurance policy programs for small businesses. He looked like a weasel with a little trimmed mustache and slicked back jet black hair. Victor was dressed immaculately and was having a meal when we arrived.

“Have a little wine”, Mr. Murphy, he suggested. “Sit down, sit down, I’d like to speak with you for a while.”

I sat. I refused the wine.

“I have been following your boxing career with interest and notice that you have become very successful in your endeavors.” He started. “Maybe you have heard of my fighter, Rocco Calizone? His nickname is Kid Dynamite.”

He didn’t wait for my answer.

“You see Rocco is going to make it big, be a champion. He’s got the tools to wow the promoters. But he needs to hook up in a match with a ranked opponent and show his stuff,” Victor explained. “What I like to do is match him against you for that reason. I want you to put on a good show but go in the seventh round. You know, let him tag you, and dive. You understand what I’m saying?”

I sat there and took in what he was saying. The creep wanted me to throw crap in the face of a sport which I respected and loved. My self-respect and pride would be gone. And the people I would let down, unimaginable. Ten grand was more than I had ever made in a fight purse. A lot more!

“I can see that you are hesitating, and I understand that, so let me tell you this.” He moved forward. “You’ll get ten grand for your effort, and if you want to retire after the match I could see that happening.”

“And if I don’t take you up on this deal?” I asked.

“Let’s just say that some situations may arise that may affect other people. You know, maybe an accidental gas leak explosion at your friends shop, or maybe Chug could be mugged in a very inconceivable manner, or you could slip and fall in this snow outside and possible break a leg.” He concluded. “You are free to make a decision, as I would not want to influence you one way or the other. Someone will be by the gym in a couple days, you let him know what it’s going to be, capisce?”

He signaled the two goons and I was out the door.

“We’ve been instructed to get you back to your cupcake lady, so get in.” Tiger sneered.

He said cupcake like it was a dirty word. Big emphasis on the p and a pause before adding cake. I often wondered what happened to Tiger after our melee at the Leprechaun. He made his choices, now I had to make mine. And I didn’t have a clue what to do. I was on the ropes with this thing.

Needless to say I didn’t sleep well, but I didn’t confide my situation with anyone either. My mind kept racing from righteousness for refusing, to the suffering I may cause for being that way. I kept my workouts going, and continued visits with my sweetheart as before. I was in a twist!

One day some boyo came in to ask me if I had something to announce. I said nothing but gave the messenger a note. It basically told Victor that I would comply, however, if any trouble came the way of myself, my friends, or my family, there would be consequences. I told him I drew up letters to the New York Boxing Commission, the 105th precinct, and the Office of Mayor explaining my situation. They would be mailed by a fella if any of the above happened. My promoter got the fight set up to take place in two months. I trained as hard as ever even knowing what the result of the fight was going to be. I had a hard time looking Chug in the face, but I don’t think he had any idea of what was happening. Victor sent word he would accept my counter proposal.

Shortly before the fight I took Prudy out to a Lum’s Chinese Restaurant in Flushing. I was kind of quiet and Prudy noticed.

“What’s going on in that battered old noggin of yours, Michael?” she asked. “You have hardly said a word all night.”

“I’ve got two things to tell you, honey.” I started, “This next fight is going to be my last. I’ve run out my string, I’m not getting any younger, and I’m not getting any better.”

Prudy started to protest but I stopped her with my palms facing her.

“Doc says I can’t take many more hits to the head, so that’s that.” I ended. “But even more important I want to plan my, I mean our life together after boxing. I’ve saved up some dough, got a decent jalopy, and love you very much. Can you maybe see us as a married couple selling cupcakes for a while?” I stared uncertain.

“Well Michael T. Murphy, I guess I can assume that was a marriage proposal,” she said. “I’ll have to think about it.”

In 3 seconds she was flying across dishes of sweet and sour, chow Mein, and the fried rice, to throw her arms around me.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” I smiled, as I grabbed her and kissed me long and lovingly.

The match was coming with great hype. Kid Dynamite was touted as the face of boxing’s future. Tickets were at a premium, but the fix was in. Word on the street was betting had been heavy. Betting would be allowed right up to first bell, so late gamblers could be a read of the odds. Chug treated it like any other fight and gave me the usual instructions of how to handle this guy. Mouse seemed to get with it and had finished wrapping my knuckles with tape. My stomach was all butterflies, not because of the opponent, but of what I had chosen to do.

I thought maybe I could just knock the bum out, grab Prudy and head out town. Maybe some backwater in Florida would be a good hiding place. Yes, that was still a possibility. They delivered the cash as promised and I had that hidden away under the ovens at the shop. Yes maybe I could pull it off.

The next thing I knew, we were being introduced at ring center. The Mauler verses Kid Dynamite. What a battle. What a headline. We touched gloves after getting the obligatory directions. My opponent, Rocco, swaggered and sneered around the ring. I could tell that was just bravado for the fear he felt. I had done the same thing early on in my career.

The fight started with each of us sparring and jabbing. The kid played to the crowd with his gestures and foot work. Nothing much happened as we both scored some points. All the while I was wondering if he had enough juice to throw a punch that looked like it might knock a fighter out. Round two and three were about the same with some clinching and close but ineffectual shots. I came out in round four and threw, what I thought was a light right cross, but my opponent walked right into it and got clocked. He went down hard. Amidst the cheers I looked over at Victor’s entourage. They were steaming and then I saw Tiger draw his finger across his throat. I knew what that meant.

“Come on kid, get up!” I actually yelled. Then covered myself with, “You ain’t seen nothing yet!”

He got up at the count of six and started toward me when the bell rang. Round Five was a waste of time for the spectators as I let the kid clear the cobwebs. Chug was hollering at me to go for the kill. That was Chug. Always. And as loud as ever. I loved him.

About 30 seconds before the end of round six, I made a mistake with my foot work and opened my up right side way too much. The hit came quickly and solidly. Everything went black.

Suddenly I saw the strangest bright light cover everything and I felt the sensation of being lifted up.

“Hey, howa doin?” came a voice. “Ya let that clown squeeze one in didn’t ya.”

The vision or aberration in front of me looked just like a guy that I saw put on a comedy act in the Catskills the previous spring. Dangerfield, uh, Rodney Dangerfield. A young guy with a little bit of a spooky look, and a Jersey accent.

(ONE) I heard.

“So I’m looking at the records here. Michael Theodocious Murphy, also know as the Mauler,” he said as he looked at some list.”

(TWO) A voice shouted.

“Theodocious!” I countered, “Is that really my middle name?”

(THREE) The noise was starting to irritate me.

“Nah, I just like the sound of it,” Rodney or whomever said. “Ya want to go back to when you was born and get that put on you? You know your mother and father argued over whether to name you Thomas after her father, or Torin, after his father so they just settled on T. What, you didn’t know that?”

“So whaddya think, whaddya think, Theodocious?” he asked.

(FOUR)

“No I’m really happy with the T.” Michael said. “But thanks anyway.”

“Okay, I offered, but the real reason we’re here is because the doc told you there was going to be one hit that did you in.” Rodney or St. Peter or who or whatever he was started in. “But even though you got yourself into a pickle with those toughs from Brooklyn, I think you need to play the string out.”

(FIVE)

“You’ve got a pretty lady, a good conscious, and the love of a lot of people. There is a lot of good that still needs doing in your life,” he continued. “I see you teaching the art of boxing to a lot of young guys and raising a fine family, so I’m sending you back to the mat. Do what needs to be done, you have my permission.”

(SIX) The voice seemed louder.

“You sure about Theodosius, huh, huh? It would add a little class to that name,” was what I heard.

And that was the end of our visit. Just like that.

I squinted through the bright flood lights to the referee standing over me as he counted seven. I staggered up, moved around a little bit and waited for the ending bell.

So, with that story getting you up to the moment, it’s time. I promised the seventh round and will deliver. I am at peace and in love and know what might be in store for me.

I jumped up and headed for the center of the ring.

“Come on kid, hit me with your best shot.”

Lessons by Mike Grant

Like most natural events, pandemics have occurred before and all such events will happen again. That is now conventional wisdom. We only have to look back to April 15th, 2009 to find the first case in the last pandemic, the H1N1 influenza virus. This US virus originated in California and in twelve months, according to the CDC, had spread around the world, infecting an estimated 60.8 million Americans and killing an estimated 12,469 of them.

The Bush administration in 2005 had created A National Strategy for Pandemic Influenza and a Pandemic Influenza Plan, establishing a public/private preparedness effort. These plans were periodically updated through June 2017. In May of 2018, the White House Pandemic Response team was effectively fired.

Later studies of the H1N1 outbreak demonstrated that conspiracy theories and misleading claims had a negative impact on the rates of infection and death. That is poised to happen again

What might we have learned when we look back on the first wave of Covid-19? It is too early to know with certainty, but many issues are already clear.

It has been attractive for many to believe that government is inherently bad. This is a political philosophy, but the practical reality is that a central government is the only means to create a consistent and co-ordinated response to a national issue, crisis or otherwise. Dissatisfaction should be directed to a process of improvement rather than dismemberment.

The necessary closing of schools has indirectly highlighted the fact that 30 million undernourished children are dependent on meals obtained at school. This country is ranked 34th in the world for child poverty.

The structure of the health-care system has left it poorly prepared for the sudden onslaught of a highly contagious disease, with the unfortunate result that large areas of the country are underserved and the first-line medical staff have been placed at unacceptable risk due to under-staffing and lack of basic supplies. Far too many people have no access to care.

The stock market is an imperfect basis for creating retirement savings. While providing great opportunities for successful speculation by those with available capital, the inherent instability can leave small to medium retirement investors ruined.

Part-time and some 15 million sub-contracted (gig) workers, along with many of the hourly-paid, have little or no benefits or protection in a workplace shutdown.

So, we are learning, or re-learning, some hard lessons. It is suggested that we are in a war. That might just be the most hopeful thing that anyone on a podium has said in a while.

What happens in a widespread war? People come together and unite in the common cause. They look out for each other and do whatever it takes, until the enemy is defeated. We mourn the casualties together and make necessary changes in their memory. Great leaders tend to emerge and, out of the pain and suffering, a new resolve and creativity will drive a re-building. Priorities will be revised and serious people will be welcomed and serious work will be done. There will be a new understanding that the poor need to be supported and that opportunity follows significant investment in people and infrastructure.

And it will become clear that there remains no place for corruption in our democracy.

Write What You Know by Kris Sather

Write What You Know…

The edict given to all aspiring writers. What I know. What I know.

In my earlier years I could spout off all the facts about horses and ponies. I could tell you what was the best/fastest route to ride my bike to Renee’s house. And I could rattle off names and facts about just about everyone in my class.

What I couldn’t write about, what I didn’t know, was how to navigate socially. I had a few friends, pretty good ones, but I was the fat little kid starting in 4th grade. I was snickered at, made fun of. Bullying they would call it now. And the label stuck, making me socially awkward even after dropping 25 lbs and growing a couple of inches before junior high.

Early teens are harsh. I do not have happy memories of my school years, no stories about parties after football games, no invitations for the pep club.I read a lot, and my senior year they opened a new school and the few friends I had were transferred away.

What I have found, by trial and error, is kindness is a strong trait in people like me. Kindness will win out. One of the best leaders in my “career” job (I tried a few others first) was shy man, a kind man. Many I worked with mocked him, were suspicious of him and didn’t know if they trusted him. To me, he was always open, he was nice. His wife was nice. As I looked around, I noticed the ones who I considered successful and who I admired were the genuinely nice people. I have always tried to be nice, to be kind, because so many were not kind to me.

And I like it. I now only want to surround myself with kind people and I distance myself from those who are perhaps a little less than.

They say when women hit 55-60 they hit their stride. It took me a few more years than the average, but honey, I’m there now.

Taproot by Kris Sather

I am a taproot.

The definition of a taproot is they are somewhat straight and very thick. A central and dominant root from which other roots sprout.

No question, I do sit and stand very straight. Definitely thick. I seem to be the dominant root in keeping “my groups” together.

Early on I would be the arranger or social director for group lunches, Friday’s at four (or five). I always seem to be toward the top of phone trees and always seem to know how to find or contact those with whom others have lost touch. I have a strong memory for names and faces, which can be a blessing and a curse.

As an example. I went to a small, three grade school when we moved to Oregon. I made friends and had many memories even though we were only in the neighborhood 18 months. Fast forward from grade 2 to grade 10, I was so happy to see some of the faces missing for eight years only to be embarrassed when they had no memory of me.

In my 22 years living in Aloha, OR, I had a wide circle of friends and acquaintances having spanned three varied “careers” and having boys involved in school, scouts and numerous sports. And my friends are dear to me. I hold them close in my heart regardless of their address. When we moved to Washington in 1998 my oldest friend in the neighborhood arranged a farewell party including many of my friends she didn’t really know. Taproot… now Trudy is close friends with several of my “other” friends.

Six years ago we traveled to Peru on a tour with 38 strangers. 40 people bonded quick and sure in the 9 days we were together. We were from all over the US, Canada and some from Europe and Taiwan. I have mailed baby blankets to Toronto and Switzerland as a result of those friendships. I send Hanukkah and Rosh Hashanah cards to several. We visited one in Zurich, another in Orlando.   In October we reunite with two of the couples on a trip to Greece.

I have a similar plan in the works with those we met in Italy in 2016.

Two years ago we moved to Ovation from DuPont. We had a close neighborhood circle there for many years that gradually frayed away with moves to Florida, Arizona, Michigan and then our defection to Lacey. We all still care for each other but it is I who arrange the dinners and get togethers. I have also kept the Florida link secure in our circle and see them when in Orlando.

Sometimes I question why I always seem to be the one reaching out, to maintain these friendships but now I understand.

I am the taproot.

Letting Go by Kris Sather

“Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down” —Toni Morrison

Hands down this quote stopped me in my tracks.

I read it during my time of reflection going through a divorce. Whoa… I was carrying a lot of shit at the time. Old hurts and resentments clinging to my heart like fudge cake and ice cream to my thighs.

I toted that stuff around to justify myself, to put the blame in someone else’s corner. Rationalization has always been my strong suit. Ask any perennial dieter.

But this one sentence….brought me up short, helped me see I needed to rid myself of the resentment to move forward with my life. I was a single mom with three pre-schoolers who I did not want to see my negativity. I hope I succeeded.

One of the boys once wrote to me he would always remember when things were hard or scary I would find something funny or silly to lighten the mood. I see him do the same with his daughter now, touching my heart.

I still tussle with resentments, but not for long. I refuse to let someone have power over me. The ice cream though… it usually wins.

So long, Strawberry Moon by Mel Grieves

The year I turned 14 seemed like every other boring year in small town Michigan, except for three things:

First, I finally made the official rank of puberty and started having periods. My sister Robin, six years older and wiser than I, had told me over and over, “Stop worrying, You’re just a late bloomer.” But I had worried anyway.

Second, Jackie Hampton moved to town and immediately I had a new best friend. Well, it wasn’t like I already had a best friend. I didn’t. But now I did. Jackie and I bonded over our tomboy status, opting to play sports rather than trade lipsticks and dance to the Beatles, like the rest of the eighth grade girls.

And third, my sister’s softball coach, as a favor to her, decided to let Jackie and me join the team, even though we were under age. The powers that be in the women’s fast pitch league declared you were not a woman until you turned 14. Jackie would qualify during the summer, but my birthday wasn’t until October. We didn’t expect to play, since all the women on this team were already out of high school, had played together for years, and were really good. You could say that Jackie and I were more like team mascots. Definitely bench warmers. But it would be cool to hang out with my sister and her friends, a chance leapfrog to maturity. It was going to be a great summer.

“I want to play center field,” said Jackie. Playing with the Sapphires was all we had talked about for two weeks while walking to and from school.

I considered Jackie’s long strides and strong arm. “You’ll make a great fielder,” I told her. I thought about my own skills. Great hitter, slow runner. “Not sure where Coach will put me. Wish I could just be a hitter and not have to take the field.”

Jackie snorted. She did that a lot. I was never sure if it was because of that long beak of hers, or just a bad habit. “Yeah, that’d be a dream job for you, Sandy. Mickey Mantle could play forever if all he had to do was swing a bat.”

We crossed Cedar Street and headed down the hill. This was the last time we’d take this route, moving on to high school next fall. Jackie slowed her pace, knowing hills could mean trouble for my weird legs. I’d learned from eavesdropping on my parents that my warped shins and pigeon-toed stance could have been corrected early on, but they hadn’t had the money. So I was stuck with being surprisingly slow for a wiry, otherwise-athletic kid. And of course, I got my share of cruel jokes from other kids about it. Jackie never mentioned it, she just accepted and accommodated me. That’s what best friends do.

School was dismissed early, so we headed to my house for our own version of batting practice, and to wait for Robin to pick us up and drive us to our first real practice with the team. Like Robin, most of the girls worked at local businesses now that they were beyond high school. Then there was Ancient Anna. Almost 40, but wow could she pitch. Jackie and I, the rookies, were the only ones with free time all summer long.

We plunked down at the kitchen table and I handed Jackie yesterday’s Free Press and a roll of black electrical tape. “We need some new practice balls. Get busy.” I showed her my dad’s method for making a ball out of tightly wadded newspaper wrapped with tape. I’d grown up learning to hit with these baseball stand-ins. The beauty was they didn’t go far—or break windows—no matter how hard you hit them, and they were smaller than a regulation softball, so when you came up against the real thing, it appeared huge and unmissable floating up to the plate. I was looking forward to facing Anna at practice and seeing if I could get a hit off her. Seeing her fastball from the batter’s box would be a whole different experience than watching it from the bleachers.

We hit tape balls for a while, grabbed a snack and planted ourselves on the front porch to wait for Robin. When her car pulled into the driveway, her boyfriend Jerry—not my favorite person—was driving and Robin sat in the passenger’s seat.

“Hop in the back,” she told us. “We’re late.”

I practically worshipped my sister for her athletic skills and popularity, but her choice in boyfriends disappointed me. I sensed tension between the two in the front, so Jackie and I settled into watching the scenery whiz by. The league ranged far, with games often taking place halfway across the state. Our team was one of the two based in Saginaw, and that’s where we headed for practice.

Everyone was involved in fielding practice when we arrived. The coach, a middle-aged man with a habit of speaking without thinking, hit fly balls to the outfielders, while Anna smacked grounders at the infielders. Coach pointed for Jackie and me to take positions in the outfield, and Robin trotted to her third base spot. As I expected, Jackie shined in the outfield, not only chasing down high fly balls, but also firing them back, right on the money, all the way to home plate. I did not fare so well. I was too slow to do much chasing, and while my arm was quick and strong for infield distances, I wasn’t good enough from the outfield to nail a runner at home. Coach moved me to the infield, where I did better, but not great. Shifting quickly to the left or right to gobble up a grounder proved difficult. If I got there in time, there was still a 50-50 chance the ball would skip between my bowed legs.

I had more confidence when we got to batting practice. Coach ran it like a scrimmage, with batters running the bases if they got a hit, and other players rotating around the field. Jackie and I had to wait until the rest of the team had their time at bat. I didn’t mind. I knew we’d have to get used to being bench warmers. I just hoped we’d get a few chances over the summer to play in a real game. Finally, Jackie was up. Anna’s offerings flew past her and reached the catcher’s glove before Jackie got her bat off her shoulder.  Coach told Anna to slow it down, which she did, and Jackie finally managed a few pop ups and foul balls.

Jackie shook her head as she passed me on her way back to the bench. “Holy cow! She’s amazing. Good luck, Sandy.”

It took me a few pitches to adjust to Anna’s speed, and it was indeed the fastest stuff I’d ever seen. Faster than Dad could throw a tape ball overhand, that’s for sure. Anna whipped her arm around in a calculated motion, releasing the ball just as it nicked her thigh. My first swing was so late, even I laughed. On the second swing I got a piece of it, but it went foul. On my third swing, I smashed it and took off running. By the time the fielder retrieved the ball and got it to Robin, I was grinning at her from third base. My first hit off Anna: a stand-up triple.

Coach clapped me on the back. “Hey Robin, look what your little sis just did. If we had a fence on this field, that woulda been outta here.”

I was grateful, and surprised, that for once he didn’t say what I was sure he and everyone else was thinking, that if I could run better I would have had a home run. Still, I was giddy over my success, and it lasted the rest of the night.

We all went to Howie’s Diner after each practice and home game, where the specialty was Coney Island hot dogs and shoestring fries. There were two big adjacent booths in the back and we took them over, sliding across the leather benches until everyone packed in. Here was where Jackie and I really got to know our teammates as the summer went on. I was shy and took it all in quietly, but Jackie joined right in with the teasing and banter. Coach said that Jackie and I were a reversed version of the most popular pair of pals on the team. Honey and Babe joined my sister as regulars in the infield, Honey at shortstop and Babe at second base. Honey was short and wiry, like me. Babe was tall and gangly, like Jackie. They were inseparable. But where Honey was the goofy-looking, outgoing joker of the pair and Babe was the quiet, wide-eyed blonde with the stunning cheekbones, Coach noted that personality-wise, Jackie was more like Honey and that I was the shy, pretty one, like Babe. I blushed at that.

He winked at Jackie. “No offense meant by that.”

“None taken,” Jackie shot back. “I think Sandy’s gorgeous, too. And I can’t help it if I inherited my dad’s nose. But it will come in handy for double-checking your booger bunt sign.”

Coach had a series of signals for batters. When he fingered his nose, that meant the hitter was supposed to bunt. Jackie had just tagged that particular sign, rather aptly, I thought. The two booths shook with giggles. Jackie may not have hit a triple, but she was a hit with the team in every other way.

About that time, a scowling Jerry showed up and stood near the door until Robin slid out of the booth to join him, asking Honey and Babe to drop “the rookies” off at home. I would never understand what my sister saw in that guy, and we were glad to stay longer at the restaurant and ride home with a happier duo, even if it was a tight fit for Jackie’s knees when we climbed into the back seat of Honey’s Mustang.

It was a warm, clear night and we rode with the windows open, the wind and the radio making enough noise that talking just didn’t seem the right thing to do. All my life I had loved riding in the back seat with my parents carrying on muted front seat conversations, so that if I wanted I could make out what they were saying, or turn it into white noise as I chose, as if they were the voices on the radio and I controlled of the volume knob. Riding in Honey’s Mustang was even better. Especially on such a sweet-smelling, star-filled summer night.

A full moon followed us, high in the sky. Bright white, bouncing over tree tops like a balloon tethered to the Mustang’s antenna. Dad called the June moon a Strawberry Moon. It meant we could expect to see strawberries soon in the roadside produce stands, farmers setting out their crops on tables at the end of their driveways, leaving a jar for folks to pay on the honor system. Strawberries were my favorite, the first fruit of the summer, harbingers of carefree days and stay-up-late nights. This Strawberry Moon was right on time. I thought of the summer ahead and could almost taste the freedoms that entering womanhood with my softball sisters would bring.

It turned out to be the winningest season the team had ever had. Coach was ecstatic and seemed to be taking games more seriously in August than he did in June. However, he did let Jackie play in a real game when her birthday came at the end of the month. She didn’t get a hit, but threw out a girl trying to stretch a single into a double, and for that received whoops and hugs from her teammates. Over the summer, we ate countless Coney dogs at Howie’s, laughed until we nearly puked them up, and criss-crossed most of the bottom half of the Michigan mitten. Robin joined us at Howie’s more often towards the end of the season and we saw less of Jerry, but Jackie and I still hooked a ride with Honey and Babe in the Mustang whenever we could.

Ancient Anna approached me about two things: babysitting for her six-year-old twins after the season ended, and learning to pitch. I’d gotten to know her husband and freckle-faced boys since they often watched her play from the bleachers behind my bench-warming spot. They were good kids, and I figured I could use the $2 an hour. But about the pitching, I wasn’t so sure.

Anna sat beside me on the bench and draped an arm over my shoulders. “Think about it. You get to bat and, on defense, you rarely have to leave the mound except to pick up a bunt or cover first or home. In those situations, there’s usually plenty of time to get there. And if you don’t…” She shrugged. “Nobody blames you because, hey, you’re the pitcher. Pitchers are heroes in other ways.”

I felt okay about Anna addressing my leg issue this way. She was a good mom, often to the whole team.

“Besides,” she added. “I think you’d be great. You already understand hitting, and that’s half the battle.”

I promised to think about it, flattered that Anna took an interest in me. Jackie had her mentors, too. Honey and Babe were determined to make a hitter out of her, spending extra practice time improving her technique. By the tournament time in September, she was connecting with the ball much more often.

The state tournament was a big deal for everyone, especially Coach. As we loaded cars for the Friday night trek to Traverse City, he repeated to all of us, “I think we can win it this year, ladies. I think we can win it.”  Full of hope, we piled into vehicles and headed northwest. Jackie and I had permission to miss school on Monday, and rode with Robin, who drove solo without Jerry. Hallelujah. Margo, our alternate pitcher, rode with us, and we would all share a room for two nights at the Bayside Motel. Which wasn’t exactly on the bay, but across the highway from the fair grounds, where an amusement park company had set up rides and game booths for a fall festival.

Our first game was at ten o’clock Saturday morning. Honey and Babe complained loudest about getting up early to play ball, but that was probably because they’d gone out drinking when they’d arrived the night before. “Not smart,” I said to Jackie. “Wish I could have gone,” she replied. We did feel more left out in Traverse City than during the regular season. For one thing, we had no hope of either of us actually playing, though we were still excited to be there and be part of the team. The stadium was huge, compared to the fields we were used to. There was a real dugout and a wall around the playing field, with real stands behind it. And great lighting. If we won the first game, we’d be playing that night, too. If we won that game, we’d get Sunday morning off and be in the final game Sunday night.

Anna pitched the first game against a team from Cheboygan. They had some talented hitters, so it was good planning by Coach. Mostly, he wanted her to be able to rest for the final game, hoping Margo would get us through the Saturday night game. We won the morning game, but not without some drama.

Robin was first at bat in the top of the seventh and struck out, rare for her. Since we were a few runs ahead, I wondered if she was just trying to get the game over with. Then suddenly she ran for the dugout and puked into an empty Coke cup. Showing her great mom instinct, Anna swarmed to Robin’s side and held her forehead while she vomited some more, just like Mom used to do when we were little. Then she walked Robin out to the parking lot. I was concerned, but wanting to give my sister her space, I followed them, far enough back that they didn’t notice me, but close enough that I could hear what they were saying. My old eavesdropping habit had taught me how to keep quiet and listen. But when I heard the word “pregnant,” I couldn’t help gasping.

Robin whirled around and narrowed her eyes at me.  “Don’t you dare tell Mom and Dad!” Then she cried into Anna’s shoulder.

Anna jerked her chin toward the dug out door. “Go tell Coach to have Margo pitch the last three outs.” When I didn’t move right away she added, “Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.”

Margo did her job and the game was over quickly. Some of the team stayed to watch other games. Honey and Babe invited Jackie and me to go shopping with them in the village, and we went, but my heart wasn’t in it. As the three of them explored one tourist trap after another, I hung back brooding, never giving an explanation whenever one of them asked what was wrong. Sometimes I can be so quiet it unnerves other people, most often when I’m concentrating on my thoughts. And I had scads of thoughts about Robin right then. I’d grown up with her being an important part of my daily life, yet sometimes she seemed like a stranger. We ate lunch and stopped back by the motel for a rest before returning to the stadium for our next game. The team from Jackson had lost their two best hitters to injuries, so Margo had an easy time on the mound and the game was over in record time. Most of the team headed for the fair grounds afterward to celebrate, but I just didn’t feel up to it and went back to our room where I could sulk in peace. I was sitting on the bed watching tv, rubbing oil into my new glove, when Robin came in and flopped on the other bed.

After several awkward minutes she asked, “Why did you get a new glove right before tournament? You should do that afterwards so you have the winter to break it in.”

I shrugged. “It’s not like I’ll get a chance to play here anyway.” I was worried about her. I was mad at her. I was ashamed of her. All at once. And I didn’t know how to say any of it. Instead I asked, “Are you and Jerry going to get married now?”

She sighed and lay back on the pillows. “I’m weighing my options.”

“Options? How many options can there be, Robin?”

She gave me a quizzical look. “How old are you now, kid sister?”

“Okay, okay. I’m not totally naive. You can get married or go away, have the baby and put it up for adoption. Either way you’re going to have to tell Mom and Dad.”

She turned her face to the ceiling and I watched tears slowly glide down her cheek and into her ear. “Jerry knows a guy who knows this doctor…”

I didn’t know much about abortion, but I’d heard enough to be scared. I stood and slammed my glove to the floor. “You can’t be thinking of that, Robin. It’s illegal. And dangerous. Girls die…”

 “I don’t want a baby, Sandy. I didn’t even want to do it with him. But he said he would break up with me and he promised to use protection. Finally I couldn’t say no anymore. Don’t ever let anybody do that to you, Sandy. Just don’t.”

All I could do was shake my head, not so much to say “No, I never will,” but more in disbelief at my sister’s confession.

 “And now he’s already dating someone else anyway and I’m in this mess.” She cried hard now.

I knew I should have gone over to her and comforted her somehow, but all I could say was, “How could you be so stupid?” Then I left to go find Jackie. Suddenly I felt like riding a different kind of roller coaster.

That’s right where I found her. She and several other girls stood in line to ride “The Big Dipper,” yukking it up and making a lot of noise. From the way she danced and clapped, I gathered Jackie was glad to see me. “Oh cool,” she said. “I didn’t want to ride with anyone else.”

“You haven’t been drinking, have you?”

Jackie giggled. “No. Honey and Babe had a couple beers, but they wouldn’t give me any. Said I may be woman enough to play softball, but not old enough to drink.”

“Glad they have some sense between them.” But I wasn’t sure I believed what she said.

Jackie snorted, like she was prone to do, and the rest of the team snorted back at her in unison. Then they all cracked up, still laughing as we climbed into cars and belted ourselves in.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jackie asked me. “You seem mad about something.”

“I guess I am. But I can’t talk about it. I just never want anything to do with boys.”

The car jolted forward and we inched up the first rise, clink-clink-clink.

Jackie grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. I wasn’t sure with all the noise, but I thought she said “Glad to hear it.” Then she screamed “HANG ON!” as we crested and started downhill.

It wasn’t the wildest coaster I’d ever ridden, but it was thrilling enough to take my mind off things. It started out easy, then gradually added quick turns that slammed us from one side of the car to the other. I was glad we didn’t have a third person in there with us. The way I was feeling, the bumps and jerks were good therapy. On the slow pull up the last rise I turned and looked behind us, taking in the sights, town lights sparkling on Grand Traverse Bay. I began to breathe easier. Then my gaze fell on Honey and Babe in the last car. I couldn’t believe what I saw. Honey leaned up and in, brushed Babe’s bangs back, and kissed her. On the mouth. Then nuzzled her neck before wrapping her arm around Babe’s shoulders and settling back down into her seat.

I flipped around to face forward again, more shocked than I’d been by Robin’s outpour. This is just too much, I thought. Too much to take in. Too much to deal with. I became aware of Jackie still squeezing my hand and wondered if she knew about Babe and Honey. I wondered what she meant about being glad I didn’t want anything to do with boys.  I pulled my hand away and we looked at each other for second. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, what she knew. I didn’t even know what I thought.

The car began falling, rattling down the steepest run of all, and I shot my arms up over my head and screamed and screamed, until we rolled to a stop where we had begun just minutes ago. Then I didn’t say much else the rest of the night.

The next morning we were all supposed to go to brunch together. Robin decided to stay in bed, said she needed more sleep. Anna and I knew the real reason was morning sickness. Coach told us how proud he was of the team and warned us not to eat or drink too much before the final game. He looked at Honey and added, “And no booze!” The game was scheduled for six o’clock and he wanted every one of us ready to play. Jackie went with some of the other girls into the village to kill time. I went back to our room to check on Robin. Even though I wasn’t talking to her, I still wanted to stay close. We spent an hour or so watching television, artfully avoiding the elephant in the room, and I followed along when she said she was going to the stadium to watch the runners up game. We sat with Coach and Anna.

“You look like hell,” Coach said to Robin. “What’s the matter?  You okay to play?” Robin didn’t look at him, but said she was fine, not to worry.

Honey and Babe didn’t show up until we’d taken the field for practice, and it was obvious they’d ignored Coach’s no-booze order. I gave the guy credit. Even with as much as he wanted to win the tournament, he benched both of them. He still had enough leeway on the roster to move girls around and sub others in without having to put me in the game, but Jackie was assigned to right field. We would be hurting, though, without Honey and Babe on offense.

It was a close game all the way. We traded the lead nearly every inning. Anna pitched her best, but the other team was full of great hitters, better than we’d seen all season. We would be up last, so at least we held that advantage.

We were tied 5-5 as the sixth inning got under way. Then two up, two down. It looked like an easy inning. The next batter got a solid hit to right field. It sailed over Jackie’s head, but she retrieved it quickly and fired it to Robin at third base with just one hop. I had to admit, she really was amazing. Still the runner was safe. Robin bent to make the tag, popped up quickly, then fell in a heap. Anna was the first one to get to her, knelt beside her and held her head. Robin came to within seconds, thankfully, but an ambulance was called anyway.

By the time I got out to her, Robin was telling Coach that she’d just fainted because she hadn’t eaten much all weekend. No big deal. But I’d seen the blood before Anna covered her with Coach’s jacket.

Coach made everyone except Anna and me back off. “Give her some air, folks. Ambulance is on its way.”

“I don’t want to go to the hospital,” Robin moaned.

“You’ll be fine,” Anna told her, then nodded reassurance to me, too. “Listen to me. You might have miscarried. They’ll check you out and you’ll most likely be able to go home with the rest of the team tomorrow. You’ll be fine.”

Robin started to cry.

“I’m going to the hospital with you,” I said.

She shook her head. “No, Margo can go. You stay here. Coach might need you.”

“I don’t care about the stupid game.”

“Well, the rest of the team cares. And Coach cares. Stay here.”

The ambulance drivers moved her onto a stretcher and I walked as far as the gate with her. “Robin, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about what I said.”

Robin tried to smile. “I know, sis.”

When I returned to the dugout, the game was getting back into gear and Anna was back on the mound. But they all seemed to be waiting for something. Or someone, as it turned out.

Coach ran up to me. “Sandy, you think you can play?”

“What? Me?” I looked around the dugout. Just Honey and Babe sitting there now that Margo had left with Robin. I was too shocked to argue. “Uh, okay, I guess.”

“Take first base.”

To my great relief, the next batter popped up for the third out. But we didn’t score in the bottom half of the inning so it wasn’t long before I had to return to the field. Anna struck out the first batter and the second one flied out to left. The next two hit singles. So far I hadn’t needed to do anything but stand there. Okay by me. But the next batter zinged one my way. I actually got my glove on it. My new glove, my stiff, not-broken-in glove. The ball skipped off of it, and dribbled into right field. The two runners were on the move, with the lead one heading towards home. Jackie flew in from right field, scooped up the ball and threw with perfect aim to our waiting catcher. Nailed it. We went to the bottom of the last inning still tied.

Everyone congratulated Jackie in the dug out and I knew I should thank her personally, but I didn’t. And she was first up so there wasn’t much time to think about it. She struck out, but Anna got to first base safely. Then it was my turn. I looked to Coach before stepping into the batter’s box. Damn. He was giving me the booger bunt sign. Was he nuts? Even if I laid down a good bunt, chances are I wouldn’t get to first before the ball did. Sure, Anna would advance, but then we’d have two outs. Reluctantly, I followed orders and rehashed all of Dad’s bunting advice in my mind. My first effort completely missed. This pitcher had an excellent curve ball and I wasn’t expecting that much of an arc. My second effort went foul. Coach trotted in to the plate for a chat. Booger bunt was off, I could hit away. “Remember, Sandy. This place has fences. Knock it outta the park.”

Now I had just one strike left and with that big curve, these pitches were not only hard to hit, but hard to lay off of. I couldn’t be sure whether they would continue on a path to be called a ball, or sneak in over the plate for a strike. I struggled, but hung in there and fouled off three more pitches. I thought maybe I’d figured this girl out. Seeing that the left fielder was playing in, I opened my stance so I could pull the ball. If it didn’t make it over the fence, at least it would make it over her head and I would have time to get to first. A big, fat curve ball floated up to the plate. Things seemed like they were moving in slow motion. The ball looked like the moon just hanging there in front of my face. Wham! Solid hit, and the moon rocketed over the left fielder’s head, over the fence, and deep into the stands. There is nothing better than a walk-off homer. I couldn’t stop smiling as I rounded the bases as fast as I could, knowing it probably looked to the crowd like the saunter most home run hitters do when they know they don’t have to hurry but can take it easy and savor the victory. I was savoring it, though, and snapped a picture in my mind of the team all coming off the bench to meet me at home plate and hoist me onto their shoulders.

“Way to go, kid!” hollered Coach. “Looks like your sister’s got some new competition for clean up spot!”

My hero’s grin gave way as thoughts of Robin crowded back in.

• • • • •

On the back side of the motel was a deck, and from there the bay was visible. And that’s where Margo found me. She said Robin was going to be fine, that they’d called Mom and Dad and they were on their way to get her. Margo would drive Robin’s car back tomorrow. Anna came around to bring me some pizza and said she and her family were driving home that night and Mom and Dad could have their room.

She sat in the rocker next to mine. “Wild weekend, huh?”

I nodded.

“That was some homer, Sandy. You got the hang of those curve balls pretty quick.”

“She didn’t change them up much. Same thing each time. Wasn’t too hard to figure out.”

“So, you gonna take me up on my offer teach you how to pitch?

I let out a big breath. It felt like I’d been holding it in for days. “I don’t know Anna. I don’t know if I’m ready for this women’s league stuff.”

She got up to leave. “Well, you let me know, okay? I’d better go get the boys packed up.”

Jackie was the next one to find me. “I hear Robin’s going to be fine. Boy, that’s a relief. And congratulations on the game winning home run.” She stood next to the chair Anna had just vacated, as if she wasn’t sure it was safe to sit in.

Over the bay the Harvest Moon hung low on the horizon. Huge and red. Almost blood red. And so huge, so burdened, that it just couldn’t rise up in the sky to where a moon should rise. No Strawberry Moon, this one. Not pristine white and full of hope, but bruised with secrets it hadn’t asked to keep.

“Thanks, “ I finally murmured back to Jackie.

So she sat.

“And thanks,” I told her, “for backing me up out there with that throw to third.”

“Hey, no problem. That’s what best friends do.”

And then we were quiet together. We stared at the moon’s reflection on the bay, and rocked in our chairs, she tilting forward when I leaned back, our rhythm never syncing.

Trains by Mike Grant

One of my first memories as a child was of the second floor Victorian apartment in the suburbs west of London. It was across an arterial street from a surface station on the Piccadilly and District lines of the London Underground system. The trains passed under the street and emerged alongside the apartment and we could see and hear them through our family room and bedroom windows. Double-decker electric trolley buses ran along the street, until they were eventually superseded by their diesel counterparts. London, like many cities, including Seattle, dismantled electric tram, streetcar and trolley systems, only to now replace them at enormous cost.

It was the early Fifties, war rationing was still in place and London was slowly rebuilding from the bombing. The country was struggling with IMF loans, currency was restricted for travel and incomes generally were slow to recover. As any visitor to London knows, its parks are a treasure and we made good use of them. Vacations would come much later. It was a surprise then, on Christmas Day in 1953 to receive a large box containing an electric train set. But wait, the rails are missing! At which point my father, ever the master cabinet-builder, produced a large sheet of plywood to which he had attached the oval track. And so I learned the thrill of watching the train go round and round in one direction. When I got bored with that, I would empty a tin of glass marbles into the oval. The track formed a half-inch smooth wall and by grabbing the edges of the plywood, I could swirl the marbles around as they bumped and jumped around each other. Nascar fans would understand.

Later, a school friend would interest me in train spotting. No, not the Danny Boyle movie! The UK railroad companies had been taken over by the government at the start of WWII, prior to being formally nationalized in 1947. The system retained it’s original regional organization in the form of six, then five divisions. Pocket handbooks listing all the classes of locomotive and their respective nameplates and numbers were published for each division and armed with these we found a vantage spot and waited. This was still before diesel or electric locomotives were introduced for mainline passenger or freight duty. As we observed a specific locomotive, we would neatly underline the number listed in our book and we pored over each others books for bragging rights. We kept it up for a few years, before other interests and boring diesel locomotives took over. Our favorite spot had been next to a freight marshalling yard, which came back into my life years later as it was also the location of my then girlfriend’s apartment. Visits were notable for the loud banging which extended late into the night as the freight cars ran into each other.

When I was ten and attending a boys only Catholic school, a senior teacher (and closet human being) led a trip from London, by train and ferry boat, to the shrine of Lourdes in the French Pyrenees. A highlight was the first real croissant in Paris as we crossed between rail stations, followed by the interminable grind south overnight, eight to a compartment, with frequent stops while a track worker swung a hammer at each wheel to check for cracks. After arrival, the mood picked up as we made the first excursion, while sharing a bus with a group of girls our age and their accompanying nuns. Being that age, we sang songs with toilet jokes, to the great amusement of the girls if not their chaperones. Our teacher leader, now out of the closet, just laughed. The return train journey went by much faster as we snuck into the girls compartments and dodged the nuns.

Our family finally acquired a car when I was seventeen and eligible for a learner’s permit, evidenced by the mandated six inch red “L” attached front and back on the car. What UK train journeys we had taken by then were hardly memorable and are now forgotten. If we wanted to visit the far corners of the country, we drove there.

After getting married, my wife and I relocated to a country village eighty miles north-east of London where we could afford a new house. So started the daily commute by train back to our jobs in London. Catching the train involved a mad dash through the country lanes and a sprint from the station parking lot over a footbridge and, breathless, onto the train as it was about to leave. Adhering to the conventional wisdom that the only decent jobs were based in the city, we kept this schedule until the second national rail strike finally did us in. Two years after joining a manufacturing company in the nearby small town, I found myself transferred to Los Angeles as general manager of the US division. So much for perception.

When I returned to London on the occasion of my father’s passing in 1982 and was travelling back from a visit to my sister’s house in Wales, I took a train from Cardiff to London. I looked up from a book wondering if the train was ever going to leave the station only to find the scenery flying by. I had not even realized and I was back in London in two and a half hours. I have taken just one train ride since, in 2015, from Everett to Vancouver BC on Amtrak to board a cruise ship. It took over four hours for a distance 25% shorter.

When a trip with our elementary school age children to the Seattle Science Center coincided with the annual model train exhibition, the worm began to wriggle. First came the subscription to Model Railroader, then the book of layout plans, and finally construction. My eldest son was told to hold stuff while I did the fun part and the 4 x 8 foot standard club module took shape. It bent and swooped in a double figure of eight that would involve thirteen track switches and a ninety-degree cross-over. Boxes of parts were acquired, many from the electrical controls business that I now owned. Family members got on the bandwagon and train stuff became birthday and Christmas presents.

But alas, reality reared it’s ugly head. There was no time or space to accommodate the grand vision. The wooden frame work was turned on it’s side and banished to a corner of the garage where it remained  for the next thirty three years, neglected and gathering dust.

But here in Ovation, trains are never far from mind and so it is with the model railroad, enjoying its new found liberation and notoriety. Track is being laid once more, with the pending challenge of wiring the rail circuits through all those switches and reversed directions without shorting it all out. Don’t fear for your electric supply. It will be fused.

E.T. and Me by Michael C. Smith

“I bet nether one of you know about Parma Violets. Well, they are very delicate, and they are what people give when they want to give something really special, when they’re in love, or someone dies….”  Zee Blakely ~ X, Y, and Zee 1972

There is no such thing as true violet eyes. What seems to be violet is made up of the deepest dark blue and flecks of green. I was surprised when I found that out. But despite that truth there was a myth that was in fact a greater truth and reality.  Her eyes were violet. Like violets of Parma, violet of legend when I finally saw them in person, they were the kindest eyes I had ever seen.

***

When I was thirteen years old and Marilyn Monroe was gone nearly a year, I was doing very badly in math at school.

“If you get a B on your next report card, your step-father and I will take you into Hollywood to see “How The West Was Won.”

“In Cinerama?” I had never seen a movie in Cinerama. The mere prospect of a night out, dinner at Musso and Frank’s, reserved seats AND a glossy program all about the movie caused my voice to reach and octave higher than Jane Powell’s.  I worked harder for that B than I ever had in school and forced my brain to embrace problems and figures that were like poison ivy to my grey cells.

Three months later I was sitting in Musso and Frank’s too excited to eat. Dinner half in me and threatening to not stay there I asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. I was excited about the movie yes. But what had my stomach riding the roller coaster at Pacific Ocean Park was what I had seen from the car as we drove down Hollywood Boulevard, the Pantages Theater all decked out for the arrival of the Queen of Everything! I slipped out the front door of the restaurant into the rare night air that only movie stars breathe and ran the six blocks from Las Palmas to Vine Street just to see the outer lobby of the Pantages. It was covered in photographs of the movie that was to open later that week. The movie everyone in the world had been waiting for over two years to see.  “The most anticipated movie event of all time” the adds read….and you see, up until then it was.

The splendors of Egypt seared my eyes in gold and sapphire, the might and grandeur of a plaster of Paris ancient Rome engulfed me, and everywhere HER. I only had a minute to look and it was almost too much to bear. How could Debbie Reynolds, Henry Fonda, Jimmy Stewart, John Wayne, Carol Baker, Karl Malden, Eli Wallach, George Peppard and Carolyn Jones compete with this?  Was the West being stolen  from the Indians more important that the ancient Near East being lost to the Romans? I had two choices, pass out on the star strewn sidewalk or run back to Musso and Franks. I turned to run and instantly I saw the most incredible thing my thirteen-year-old eyes had ever beheld.  High up on the side of the Hollywood Taft building right next door to the Pantages soaring up into the starless inky smoggy night was a painting of HER.  It was seventy; no, it must have been a hundred feet high. She was seated on a replica of Tutankhamen’s throne in a green and gold crown, dressed in plunging neckline purple Irene Sharaff gown and holding the emblems of Upper and Lower Egypt across her bosom. Her violet eyes looking down upon me not with imperious hauteur, but with a kind of understanding as if she were the mother of all the lost boys in the world.

“We are going to be late….” A hand took mine. It was my step-father. He had known exactly where to find me.

***

“There are never enough hours in the days of a Queen, and her nights have too many…so I fill them with memories of what might have been.”  Cleopatra 1963

***

At seventeen I had my own movie studio. It was a super-8 movie studio named after the father of motion pictures David Wark Griffith, D.W.G. Studios it was called. I had saved up money from baby sitting and stripping and waxing kitchen floors for the women in the neighborhood to buy my movie editor, my first step to running a studio. Why the editor first? At fifty bucks it was the cheapest of the necessities I would need. Camera cost eighty dollars and the projector a whopping one hundred and twenty-five dollars so I figured if I had the editor first, I would be forced to save up the money to get the rest of the equipment. My stepdad and mom took pity on me and got the camera and projector for my birthday and Christmas that December.

My fist epic was an eighteen-minute version of “Antony and Cleopatra”. Surprise! The cast was made up of all the kids I baby sat. Cleopatra was eight years old and her brother at nine played Antony. The love scene was a little uncomfortable to say the very least. Unlike Elizabeth’s version my Cleopatra and her Antony came in under budget after two weeks in production at seventy-five dollars. And, I had to make that money back or the studio was sunk! So, I put on my post production, marketing and advertising hat and got to work.

I planned to run the film for three weekend showings on Friday and Saturday nights in our garage. I painted a huge reclining Cleo and put it on the roof of the garage with Christmas lights and papered the double car garage door with a sign. “Opening in three weeks the film the entire neighborhood has been waiting for!” I didn’t name it…cardboard Cleo on the roof said it all.  I sent out invitations to every person I had ever met. Then, almost as an afterthought I sent an invitation along with what I thought to be a clever letter to Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton in care of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios. M.G.M. had been Elizabeth’s home studio for eighteen years. She was no longer under contract to the studio, but maybe they still forwarded her mail.

Three months later I came home from school to be met by my mother at the front door.

“What did you write in that invitation you sent to Elizabeth Taylor?”

“Oh, I don’t know…I told her about myself. I just wrote to her like she was just anybody. Why?”

“This came today.”  She produced from behind her back a robin egg blue envelope. On the back were three words. Elizabeth Taylor Burton in a simple dark blue font. Mom almost had to turn the hose on me to calm me down.

Thus, began an on again off again correspondence that lasted four years. The Burtons got an invitation to every film that came out of D.W.G. and lots of drawings. They never did make it to my premieres, but Elizabeth Taylor always supported my artistic endeavors with a kind note.

***

  “I’m an artist, I paint. Nobody buys. Then I turn out watercolors when I need grocery money.” Laura Reynolds ! The Sandpiper 1965

***

At nineteen I was a Theater Arts Major in Junior College. By twenty-one I came to the realization that I hadn’t the talent to be a good actor, let alone a movie star, I was smart enough to know that Hollywood was sure to break my heart.  But I could paint. So, after six months as an English major where spelling proved to be my downfall, I became an Art Major.

When I found out in 1971 that I was going to summer school in Guadalajara Mexico and that I would get to spend a weekend in Puerto Vallarta I got the great idea. I wrote to Elizabeth allowing the usual three months for the letter to find her wherever she was in the world and told her I wanted to give her a thank you gift for all her support. Would she send me her favorite photograph of her with Richard?

She sent the photo taken when they appeared on stage in Christopher Marlow’s Doctor Faustus at Oxford. I painted a very large portrait from that photo of them in costume, he as Doctor Faustus and she his Helen of Troy.  It hung in an English Pub in town until it was time to take the train from Mexicali to Guadalajara. The train left at night and there waiting on the platform for the three-day trip stood I with my suitcase and the Burtons all boxed up. I was towering at six feet three like mount Popocatépetl above a sea of Mexicans none taller than 5’6″. Everyone was looking at the giant gringo with the long hair and beard. I came to understand during my entire visit to Mexico what it must be like to be famous! Everywhere I went the locals were fascinated by me. Children called me “El Barbo” and ran up to me to tap me for luck.

I shared my little private Pullman room on the train with the Burtons. When the bed was made up the only place for them was in the bed with me. The first night crossing the Senora Desert was fine. But on the second night in the mountains it was insanity. Every time the train turned and twisted though the Sierra Madre mountains the Burtons would fall over on me. They kept me up all night.

I stayed with the Ramirez family in Guadalajara. They spoke no English and I spoke no Spanish. My American roommates translated so consequently I never learned any Spanish, except how to ask for scrambled eggs and even that I got wrong. Seems I was asking for “revolting eggs.  The house maids loved me and said my Spanish was more than funny. Senora Ramirez loved the painting, so it hung over her dining table for three weeks, until it was time to go to Puerto Vallarta. One night at dinner Senora Ramirez was staring up at the painting. Then she looked at me and smiled and said something in Spanish.

Before I could ask for a translation her eldest son who spoke English said.

“Mama says that like Elizabeth Taylor you carry love and your soul in your eyes.”

A few days later I flew over the mountains to Puerto Vallarta to surprise the Burtons.

Armed with a friend who spoke Spanish I found the Burton house on Calle Zaragoza in Gringo Gulch.  A pink bridge crossed the street connecting the two parts of the house and under the bridge was the front gate. No doorbell…just a rope with cowbells hanging down for anyone to pull. I was as nervous as a cat on a…. you know the rest. I pulled on the cow bells and nothing. My friend yanked on them and again nothing. We were about to leave when a voice came from the bridge above us.

“¿qué es lo que quieres?” We looked up to see a handsome young Mexican man who looked to me to be a dead ringer for one of Ava Gardner’s beach boys in “The Night of the Iguana.”

My friend explained in Spanish my story. He must have done a good job because the beach boy told us to wait and disappeared across the bridge into the main house. Moments later he appeared at the iron gate with two maids in tow.

He demanded to see the painting. I pulled it out of its travel worn box.

“aye qué hermoso!” the maids exclaimed and grabbed the painting and ran up the stairs into the house.

My friend translated to me as the beach boy spoke.

“I will see that Mr. and Mrs. Burton get the painting. They just left yesterday for London for the birth of Mrs. Burton’s first grandchild.”  He thanked me and shut the gate. I missed them by only a day.  I never saw the painting again.

What I didn’t know at the time was that the Burtons were in trouble and in a few years, they would be divorced. The letters from Elizabeth stopped and I understood why.

***

“The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.”  Elizabeth Taylor

***

Many years and three husbands later for Elizabeth I was working in the collections department at Macy’s in San Francisco. The big news was that Elizabeth Taylor was coming to promote her perfume “Elizabeth Taylor’s Passion”.  It was announced that for two hundred and fifty dollars you could have tea with Miss Taylor and about two hundred other people in the Macy’s cafeteria on the eighth floor. My card was maxed out and I had to work that day so there was no way I could see her, let alone meet her.  What would I say? “You don’t remember me but….” I didn’t want to be that guy.

When the hour arrived that she was due on the main floor I blacked out.  The next thing I remember is that I came out of my blackout standing very close to the stage and she was walking on to it. Everyone was screaming!

Over my lifetime I leaned many things from Elizabeth Taylor. I learned how to face life straight on and survive the hard times. I learned that it was a blessing to be different. I learned that kindness and honesty and being the real you brings unexpected rewards. I learned by watching her with Roddy McDowall, Montgomery Clift, James Dean, and Rock Hudson that loyalty is the hallmark of being a real friend. I learned how to use my eyes to speak when the world was too loud for words.

The day Elizabeth died she gave me her last gift. Just a month before I had angered the love of my life, Bryant Lanier so much that he had cut me off and ended our relationship. It was so final that I knew I would never again speak to the man I had waited a lifetime for. As time crept onward, I took on each day and climbed over it knowing from experience that I would survive …. And then Elizabeth died.

I heard the news getting ready for work.  No tears like for Marilyn when I was 10. Too much had happened for tears now. I went to work. Everyone I met that day said, “Elizabeth Taylor died today, why are you here? We thought for sure you would stay home.”  There was nothing else for me to do but live that day through and go on. I learned that from her, you just keep going on.

The following Sunday there was an email from Bryant.

“I haven’t thought about anything in the wake of Liz’s death but you, in fact I just made myself LOL. Wondering how long you’ll wear black!

They’re playing a nice tribute to her on the CBS Sunday morning show and,, if u get up in time..(9 AM ) I’m sure you’d love to see it ….

There may someday be plenty to says, and some things may go unsaid thank god…

Have a good day..

I love you

B

PS Call me when you get this.”

In an odd way, Elizabeth’s death gave me a second chance with him. I used to tell Bryant how much he reminded me of Burton because of their shared acting talents and personal demons.  I had Bryant in my life for nine more months before he went to join Elizabeth in the place where there are more stars than there are in the heavens. Three days before he died, he said. “You are my Elizabeth.”

As Elizabeth Taylor walked on to the stage that day at Macy’s back in the 80’s she was radiant. She waved out to the packed store. Then she turned and she saw me.  She smiled, and then she winked. That was enough.

Her eyes were like Parma violets, the very flowers I used to send to Bryant on his birthday.