Fair Enough by Bob Johnson

I laid in bed and watched through my window as the sky became lighter and lighter. I knew it was early because the birds hadn’t even started singing. I was on top of the covers in my bed only in my pajamas and a warm housecoat. I planned this so I wouldn’t have to spend any time making my bed. I was toasty since this old house, I mean really old house, got warm during the summer. My room especially. I was up on the third floor. Dad said my bedroom used to be a closet or something like that because it was so small. He should know, he was raised in this very house. I even had to walk through the bathroom to get to the room. That was such a pain, especially if one of my older sisters was soaking the tub, and they stayed in it for hours. I had to turn my back as I opened the door, snake my way between the sink and the toilet, then finally get to my sanctuary. My friends thought it would be kind of cool to walk in on one of them, but everyone who visited was briefed as to the proper procedure. If they didn’t follow it, the screams from the water would bring Mom up the stairs and then there would be trouble.

Anyway, I just couldn’t sleep any longer. Today was the day. The family was going to the Montana State Fair in Great Falls. We hadn’t been able to attend for the last three years, either because Dad couldn’t get off work, or because he was out of work and we didn’t have enough money.

I was ready to help on that end. Mowing grass for my grandpa, washing the family station wagon, scavenging for returnable bottles, and weeding old Mrs. Mock’s garden provided a pretty hefty sum of eleven dollars and twenty nine cents to spend at the fair. I was going to buy some cotton candy, and a nutty buddy ice cream bar, then ride on every ride at the carnival. I was set. I wouldn’t have to ask Dad for one cent. The money was laid out by the little table next to my bed. There was one five dollar bill, six one dollar bills, a quarter, and four pennies. I had been searching for another penny somewhere so I could trade the pennies in for a nickel. Bob Seek, the grocer, said he would trade out the money if I found another penny.

I’m nine years old and can barely remember the last time we went to the fair. I recall riding a little kids train, but I was almost six years old and it was for babies. It wasn’t neat at all.

I didn’t hear any noise in the house, so I rolled out of bed, used the toilet, washed up, and put a dab of butch wax on my hair to stiffen my cool crew cut. I even brushed my teeth so I wouldn’t have to do that after breakfast. I got into the clothes I had laid out the night before. Clean underwear and socks, then I pulled up a pair of jeans with matching knee patches. Mom was really good at putting those things on. I got a brown and black striped short sleeved shirt, and slipped my favorite belt into the pant loops. The belt buckle had a picture of a space ship blasting through the universe. When you wiggled the buckle the space ship moved. Really cool! Finally, I slipped on my boots. They were pretty scuffed but I used a brown crayon to cover the light patches. The boots had a dark black stripe running up the side. I looked down at them. I was ready to go.

I wandered down stairs and saw that Mom was just starting a pot of coffee. She had already lit up a Camel. She always smoked and drank coffee every single morning.

“Mom, I announced, I’m ready.”

She turned around and looked at me and smiled.

“Well aren’t you the early bird.” She said.

“Can you get everyone else up so we can get going.” I asked.

“Honey, its six in the morning. The fair doesn’t even open its doors until ten o’clock.” She explained.

I started to panic just a bit. It took Helen and Alice forever to get ready, I knew. My older sisters had one speed, slow, and even worse when they were fixing themselves up.

“And your father has to change out that bad tire on the car before we can go anywhere.” She continued.

My entire plan was going to be ruined. I just knew it.

“Why don’t you sit down and have a bowl of Wheaties. It’s the Breakfast of Champions, you know.” She teased.

I got into the conversation with her as I headed to get milk out of the Frigidaire.

“I think I’ll just have what Tony the Tiger has. Its greeaaat.” I said without a lot of enthusiasm.

Still nobody up so I went outside and jumped on my bike. I rode around the neighborhood and it seemed like everyone was sleeping in. I waved at Mr. Mock as he headed down to the railroad depot. He was the station master and even let me play on the telegraph key once. He didn’t wave back. He was grouchy a lot of the times. I think it was because he had something called the gout. At least that was what Mrs. Mock said. I don’t know what that was but it must really be a bad thing to have.

I got back just in time to watch Dad change the tire.

“They just don’t make these retreads like they used to.” He muttered.

“This is the third one this year that blew its tread. One of these days I’m going to buy a brand new set. If only they weren’t so danged expensive.” He went on explaining to me.

I rolled the bad tire out to the garden plot. Mom would fill it with good dirt and plant garden stuff or flowers in them. We had seven tires all lined up.

I came running back to ask Dad, “Are we ready to go then?”

“Are your sisters ready?” he inquired.

I frowned.

“Why don’t you go and find out.” He suggested.

I took the porch stairs two at a time, flew through the screened summer room and went upstairs. I looked into the girls’ room. They weren’t even up yet. They were still a couple of lumps under the covers.

I turned on the light and opened the window shades then started singing “You are my Sunshine” as loud as I could. I was sure that might get them going.

One of them threw a pillow at me.

“Mom, Robert won’t leave us alone. Helen screamed. Get him out of here!”

I figured if Mom came up she would tell them to get moving anyway.

She didn’t.

“Come on, you guys, we’re going to the fair today, you didn’t forget did you.” I asked.

“How could we forget, that’s all you’ve talked about for the last two weeks.” Alice whined.

“Mom has pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream on the table. You’d better get going.” I announced.

They both jumped up and squealed as they put on their robes. Their favorite breakfast. They raced downstairs.

Two minutes later I was hiding in a closet while they searched for me. So I told a white lie. What was the big deal?

I emptied the garbage cans, swept the garage floor, fed the cats, and watered some flowers.  Mom kept suggesting things I needed to do before we could leave. I was really tired of waiting.

“If you wash the windshield on the car we’ll take off.” Dad promised.

I found a bucket and put some dish soap in it, added some water from the backyard hose and started in on the car. We owned a Ford station wagon with real wood on the side. I don’t know what it was for but it looked real neat. I got up on the hood, did a spiffy job, climbed down to announce to anyone who could hear me that the job was done.

“Mom’s still making lunch but go ahead and get in the car.” Dad said.

I raced out, climbed into the way back seat and waited. We called it the way back seat because it was all the way to the back of the car. I had that seat all to myself because my sisters always sat in the middle one. I could even lay down on the thing. I brought a couple of Richie Rich comics to pass the time.

Finally everyone was loaded up, the picnic basket sat beside me, and we were off.

We started through town and Dad stopped on Main Street to talk to some guy. They talked and laughed forever. Then the guy started talking about church and the new pastor and everything. I knew for sure we would miss the fair completely.

Again, finally, we drove out of town headed south to Great Falls.

Dad drove fifty miles an hour all the way. Everyone was passing us!

“Racing down the highway is tough on an engine. This car has to last a long time. I go under the speed limit so I don’t have to worry about highway patrol. Let those idiots past, they’ll only get there five minutes before me.” That was the stuff Dad always said when we were traveling.

We drove through the west side of Great Falls as I caught a glimpse of the fair grounds. The huge roller coaster stood high into the air. No way was I going to climb into one of those cars racing up and down on that thing.

We slowly inched along the line of cars until we finally reached the ticket booth.

The big board showed the prices of admission.

“Two adults, two over eight and one under eight.” Dad told the guy in the ticket booth.

“Dad, I’m nine now remember?” I said as I clamored to the front so I could stick my head over the seat.”

The guy in the booth laughed and handed Dad the tickets. I don’t know why he was laughing.

We found a great parking spot under some trees.

“Perfect, Mom said, we have shade and we can sit here for a picnic.”

“Aren’t we going to check things out first?” I asked, hoping Mom would see the wisdom in my suggestion.

“Eat first, Dad directed, then you won’t be hungry and fill up with all that carnival crap.”

So we sat on a big blanket, ate tuna fish and pickle sandwiches, fruit cocktail Jell-O, and drank cherry Kool-Aid.  No one was in a big hurry. Except me. Alice and Helen were busy checking out their hair in the car’s mirrors, and jabbering about maybe meeting some handsome boys.

Again, it took forever for Mom to repack everything in the very rear of the car, but we finally seemed ready to have some fun.

“Where do you want to go first, Robert, the cattle barn or the poultry pavilion?” Mom asked.

I looked at her and couldn’t believe what she had said.  The carnival and all the music, and kids, and rides were there waiting for me. The cattle barn!

So we looked at every rabbit, pig, pigeon, cat, dog, cow, chicken, horse, flower arrangement, vegetable display, and jams and jellies in the world. We saw more quilts, arts and crafts, and photograph displays than a person should be allowed to see. Then I heard the magic words.

“Girls, why don’t you and your brother head on over the midway and see what’s going on. Your father and I are going to be at the cowboy stage to hear some music. Make sure to stick together.” Mom ordered.

Those weren’t magic words, those were directions to a fate worse than death. I looked over at my sisters and they were thinking the same thing.

“Okay Mom, what time should we meet at the car?” Alice, the oldest asked.

“Let’s make it eight o’clock. That will give you a chance to see everything.”

I checked my Roy Rogers watch and saw it was already noon. Oh Man!

With that we were off. The music, and noise, and people milling around was wonderful. This was real excitement, real action. I was trying to decide what to do first.

“Oh look, there’s Judy and Bonnie.” One of my sisters squealed.

The girls milled around each other whispering to their friends, pointing out boys, and giggling.

“I’m going to try my luck at the game over here, I’ll be right back.” I said as I pointed to a nearby booth. I couldn’t hang around with that bunch another second.

The idea was to toss money onto a bunch of dishes lined up in the middle of the area.  If your coin landed and stayed you would get that dish as a prize.  I stepped up and started to dig into my pocket. A guy with stringy hair, a tee shirt and dirty jeans came over. He smiled at me. I think he only have about six teeth in his mouth. I handed him a dollar and he gave ten dimes.

“Try your luck, win a prize.” He shouted to no one and everyone.

I just about won something and was getting real close to making the dime stay on the dish. I cashed in one more dollar. The first toss was a winner. I was now the proud owner of a dark blue colored glass plate.

“Winner, winner. A winner every time”, the guy hollered as he handed me my prize.

“Hey you guys, look what I won.” I said as I proudly displayed the plate as I walked back to the group.

Judy and Alice laughed when they saw what I was carrying.

“Are you going to carry that around the rest of the day, even on the rides?” one of them asked.

I thought about it and knew it was a stupid thing to have tried to win. Ten minutes later I accidently slipped it into a big black garbage can. I had spent one dollar and one dime to win that dumb thing. I shook my head just thinking about the lost moolah.

I hung with the girls for another half hour but got real tired of them not doing anything except showing off to any boys nearby. I slipped away.

“See the fat lady, six hundred pounds, the bearded lady, the man who can swallow a two foot sword, marvel at the half man, half ape. Only twenty five cents to witness some of the world’s greatest curiosities. Step right up.” The little man with the big megaphone implored.

I rushed up and put a quarter on the booth top, and got my ticket.

“If you get too scared don’t expect a refund.” The man yelled out loudly as I started to pass.

The crowd chuckled and laughed. I glared at the little man. Frightened, hah!

I was ready to enter the tent when I heard my name being called. It was a friend of mine.  Billy Ford, who claimed to be a relative to the New York Yankee pitcher, Whitey Ford.  I didn’t believe he was related, he just said that to be a bigshot, I was sure.

“Are you going in there?” he asked with wide eyes.

“Sure, I said, come in with me.”

“I heard it was pretty scary, especially the guy who looks like a gorilla.” He said.

“Chicken, bock, bock, chicken.” I said to him.

“Alright, but you stay in front of me.” He demanded.

We went in together and moved to the edge of the stage. I couldn’t believe how big the fat lady was, and the sword swallower put two blades down his throat at the same time.

We watched as curtains swirled, and lights flashed. All of a sudden someone or something let out a loud bloodcurdling yell and jumped right in front of Billy and me. All I saw was wild eyes and hair all over its body. We yelped and headed for the exit before it could grab us.

“Jeepers, we almost became gorilla food.” Billy yelled as we tried to get our breath.

“I’m not going back there.” I announced.

We headed toward the rides and away from that tent.

I stood in front of a ride called the Hammer. It had the shape of a double hammer head at the end of a long steel platform. The rider is strapped in at one end of the hammer head and it starts rotating in a circle. I watched the people as they screamed and hollered to stop the ride.

I wasn’t afraid of the Hammer and would have climbed aboard but a person had to be able to be a certain height to enter. I stood up to the measuring board but was just a little short. Maybe I crouched down a little but not much. I’d ride the Hammer for sure next year.

I never did see my sisters again but saw a couple of other friends. We rode a few rides, played some games, and ate for cool fair food. The best was cotton candy. I went back for seconds.

My money was getting low and the day was ending. I was looking for a souvenir. I didn’t want any balloons or pinwheels or any of that junk. I wanted something cool.

Suddenly, it was right in front of me.  A woman with tattoos of roses all over her arms was selling hats. They weren’t like baseball hats, but kinds of a sporty look to them. My uncle Hank wore something like it when he has a date with some woman. Mom never let him bring his dates over to the house for some reason.

“Looking to buy a hat?” the lady asked me.

“Yes, but how much?” I asked.

“The hats are two dollars and I will embroider your name on the front for free. You also get to pick a free adornment for the hat.” She explained.

I didn’t know what an adornment was but some kid walked away with a feather sticking out of his newly purchased hat.  I figured that was what an adornment was.

“Okay, I think I want a red one.” I decided as I pointed to the pile of hats.

She grabbed a few and set them on my head until she decided one was a good fit.

“Okay, what’s your name? I’ll sew that one the hat.” She said.

“Rober..uh, Bobby. Just Bobby.” I answered.

My family all called me Robert but I thought Bobby, the name Mary Ellen Fisher used when she flirted with me, was cooler.

“And I’ll take that tall white feather as an adornment.” I said using the new learned word.

She set the hat in a machine and it quickly sewed my name. She put the feather through a couple of slits in the side, then set in on my head.

“Looks pretty sharp, young man.” The tattooed lady said.

I gave her two one dollar bills. I walked away and just knew that everyone was checking out my head gear. I liked it.

I got back to the car just before Alice and Helen so I imagined Mom and Dad didn’t figure out that I didn’t stayed with my older chaperones the whole day. And we kept quiet.

I got compliments all around concerning my hat, and was careful not to bend the feather as I got into the car. I would keep this hat forever, and maybe even wear it to Easter Sunday Services, or Christmas parties. After all it was red and white.

We slowly left the fairgrounds along with a long procession of cars doing the same. I looked in the rear window and watched the bright and blinking night lights of the exciting rides fade into the distance.

I sat quietly and thought back about the entire day. What a fun time, even if the gorilla guy attacked Billy and me.  It all faded to dark as the old station wagons tires drummed on the highway.